Day 1. It didn’t take long for an ad to show up on my feed.
First on our list is The Splat Room—an entertainment space for carefree and trying to be carefree people. They literally want you to make a mess with paints. This is not a place for the Monica Gellers.
Anyway, they already have a fun, exciting, Blue’s Clues type of voice (which I love), so my copy brain is itching to splat creative juices to this… ahh! I have to. It’s right there.
They have multiple offers from solo tickets, duos, to big groups. I think I’m gonna go with the date night ticket (duos) and the party pack.
Splat room for two
Warning: Not for first dates! Paints will splat, face will get dirty. But if you wanna say “I’m fun and goofy” without saying “I’m fun and goofy?” Then, enough sharing desserts… share a canvas in a splat room for two!
Original copy:
Mess Around And Find Out
This is for the competitive duo. You each get 1 small canvas, you make a mess, splatter! It’s 45 minutes of laughter and pure fun — that ends with a one-of-a-kind gift. Literally. The question is, who would go home with the better masterpiece? Mess around and find out.
Original Copy:
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A messy party
When the planner of the group asks “what do you wanna do?” you answer: a MESSterpiece. The Splat Room is open for the chaotic and chaotic-ish bunch! Gather your group of 4 (or more) and turn a blank canvas (and yourselves) into a colorful mayhem. Here, you have our permission to get messy!
Original copy:
Overall: Pretty okay. My goal here is to capture the experience. There will be different types of groups that will try the Splat Room, so I painted a picture that best represents the “why” of every group.
I also renamed the bundles to make them more fun and lively.
Total time spent writing: 1 hour and 1 min.
This isn’t straight 1 hour. I had to pause because my mind wandered about possible dates and family activities like The Splat Room. I guess I got too excited with the ‘fun night’ I’ve written, I wanted to have one myself… If that’s how potential customers will feel by just reading product descriptions? Then maybe you need to make a similar one for your biz. I know a guy…
