This brand is quite aggressive with its ads. I’ve been seeing them since I did the Pilates gym a couple days ago, but it’s the first time that they popped up first. So here we are.
I’m talking about Lunas. They’re an e-commerce brand selling therapeutic items. You know, products that are meant to bring the spa into your home.
Honestly, I didn’t quite get their voice and tone. And I think that’s because of the lack of personality. I mean, the message is there, like they want peace and relaxation to be around, but I didn’t really buy it because they bombarded me with benefits. It was too much for me.
What I kinda like, tho is their product page. They have proofs, they have stories. So I think I don’t really need to highlight stuff on the description.
The whole page does the selling in this case.
Trigger Points® Acupressure Set
No one knows your body more than you do. Until now.
The Trigger Points® Acupressure Set is designed to hit where it hurts. But it won’t hurt for long.
It knows your body well enough to press on the precise points that need it most. Then, it stimulates them. It holds the spot that banishes the pain in your back and your neck.
When you think that’s enough, its 6,700 pressure points are always there, ready to drain away the stress. Every point, every squeeze, made to tease out those endorphins that tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’.
Then comes the cherry on top. Wrapped in flax so soft it could whisper to your skin, packed with coconut fiber that cradles you, firm and earthy. This doesn’t just hold you, it grounds you.
Original copy (at the time of revamp):
Alona™ Smart Cupper
Any bed can be a massage bed on the beaches of Siargao.
But only if you have this.
The Alona® Smart Cupper loves to be on spots that ache. It wants to hold them and tell them it’s okay to let go.
If this thing could talk, it would be your new best friend.
But we’re not there yet. Just enjoy how it melts stiff necks and tired backs, how it butters up the blood to flow where it’s been stuck, how it smooths out the knots that keep you up at night.
In short, all it knows to do right now is to make you feel light again. That’s why it’s on your side when you battle colds, headaches, and rough sleep. If there’s something your body doesn’t need, it wants to flush it out.
Because both of you know what matters most: feeling good. As good as a sweet, tender massage in Siargo.
(click here to see the original copy)
Original copy (at the time of revamp):
Overall: It’s pretty okay. Again, I let my imagination run wild here. I based everything on the existing product description. Instead of straight up describing and laying out every single benefit, I painted a picture.
I’ve built a connection with the buyer by teasing how they’ll feel when they use the products. It sets the tone and brings the emotion. Because you want the emotion to come first, and then follow it up with logic. Which turned out pretty good because they already took care of the logic part of buying with the rest of the product page
Total time spent writing: 47 minutes. Another quick turnaround. Again, I didn’t need to write so much for this one. The existing product description already has A LOT of benefits, so it’s just a matter of laying them out creatively.
This shows that giving out benefits instead of features is not enough. You still have to figure out how to execute it well and weave in personality. This is another deeper knowledge for you, dear biz owner. And you know what? I still have a lot of that in the bag. I could use them for your biz when you need it. Just let me know.
